I’m in a place where I really thought I was going crazy. Besides me being pregnant with my harmonies raging, I just turned 30 and my emotions and attitude is having a fit. At this time it’s hard to control them, everything and everyone is irritating and I can’t stand the site of most of them. Then I began to feel bad and all I want to do is help them, love them, and keep them close (I know confusing). I also quit my job with no income or anyway to pay any of my bills. I know not a very smart move But all I can hear God saying is I got you daughter, just trust me! I don’t know how He’s going to do it but I do know that He is the only person I have for help. I am suffering and every area of my life and I know God is the only reason I haven’t went insane. I can’t tell you how I’m going to pay rent, I have a husband who can’t really get a job and the jobs that has been offered to him he has turn them down. For some reason I feel bad for quitting my job because it seems like he is frustrated and angry. It make me want to go and get my job back but I also feel free from worry and stress, even though I don’t know what’s going to happen I have a peace in me that I need in this time of my life. I know God doesn’t just drop money, clothes, and food out the sky but in His word Mathews 6:31 say don’t worry about what I should eat drink or wear to seek the kingdom of God and all His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto me. From this point on I will seek God whole heartedly and all His righteousness, I will pray, fast unto the Lord, I will read and study the word of God so that I will not miss His instructions. I want to do His will and His will only, I want His will done in my life and the lives of my family members. I am tired of living without a purpose, I instructed people to live purposely for a purpose. To pray and seek God with all their hearts and I haven’t been practicing what I preach! I’m ready for a mighty move of God in my Life, I’m tired of being a sometime Christian an only when I need something prayer warrior. Sunday service worshipper and a Wednesday and Friday spiritual speaker! I am determined to become the person God created me to be. I have no other way to go, no one else to run to, that I know for a fact can help me. I do not know anyone who will keep my every secret, someone who want to take on my burdens and who can heal my pains. Someone who can help me love everyone with all my heart and soul as God has command me too, someone who will give me my hearts desires If I follow them, someone who can turn my bad into good to help other people. All I want to do is be all that I can in Christ. It is not easy but I am going to keep pressing toward the mark. I am never going to stop building and working on my relationship with God. I pray that God never stop working on me, in me and teaching me to be all that He has created me to be. I pray that God give me the spirit to pray without ceasing, the spirit to worship and praise at a drop of a dime, a double portion of the faith of Job and the obedience of Joshua. The confidence of Joseph so that when I fall short because I know I will, My Godfidence will always remind me that God is there and would never leave or forsake me! Knowing this helps me to never stop striving for what God has for me. Believing in His word, having faith the size of a mustard seed, trusting Him with my life is all I need to succeed, to grow in grace, obtain knowledge and wisdom all the while understanding who He is and loving Him because He loved me first!!!!!! I am not perfect and I’m still a work in progress but I know with God I will be just fine!!
Thank you God the father of my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ!!!